Madness
by Paradox Of Life
Summary: One-Shot. Insanity ensues with the cops, a random ninja swarm and Egyptian soup...what did I  the author  do to deserve this chao-BAKURA, PUT ME DOOOOWN! Mild language and themes


**Hi everyone! Yes, I know I have multiple stories going on at once. But when I got some ideas while me and some friends were talking on the phone, I just couldn't resist posting them as a one-shot on here :D Warning, it's completely crazy and just plain stupid at times. And yes, the ninja are from TMNT. At a request.**

_**REVAMPED!**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own any YGO character, nor do I own Shock or Axl, or the Foot Ninja. Only Shadow and Sam. (Btw Shadow's the character, Sam is the other version of her from our world that got teleported to their world and took over Shadow's place in their world. Kopish? Good.)**

**This was completely typed up using an on-screen keyboard...the port for my original one has given up the ghost lol**

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"Hey, wanna read a manga while we wait for Sam?" Shock asked, handing a manga over to her blonde friend. Axl shook her head as she held up her own.

"I'm sorted." She laughed.

"See! Time to waste = manga reading." Shock laughed as she opened her manga.

"I agree, but I get sucked into them, then end up writing fanfictions that I usually don't finish." Sam muttered as she entered her living room, throwing her bag down onto a chair. "Same with movies."

"Your point?" Shock mumbled, tucking a stray lock of copper hair behind her ear as she looked up at her older friend. "Hey, did you finish 'Death Note'?"

"Nah, it just got boring after a while." Sam called back over her shoulder as she walked into her kitchen and returned moments later with a hot cup of coffee. "By the way, Axl, I've finished some more pics for you."

"You done them already?" Shock asked Sam, who nodded.

"Yeah, but I've been really busy writing my other stories, like you guys wanted. I just have to edit our last conversation for the last little bit." She explained, taking a sip of her drink. "Ow! Burnt my tongue!"

"Cheater..." Axl muttered, turning another page in her manga.

"How?" Sam exclaimed, sitting up to look at her younger friend.

"You got us to say the speaking scenes without realizing it. And why do you have to edit it?"

"I'm not cheating! That was ages ago!" Sam protested.

"Plus, she's gotta edit the part about Shock and Yami being together and all of that." Ryou muttered as he entered the room. "Doesn't quite fit right."

"True, and about time you saw that! Life doesn't work that way!" Shock stated and Sam sighed.

"You guys do belong together though!"

"I was just stating a fact." Ryou said quietly and Axl put away her manga.

"I am so not getting into this old married couple fight." She said while backing away.

"WE AREN'T MARRIED!" Sam and Bakura both yelled, and Sam dragged a hand over her face, groaning. "Sheesh..."

"Smart Axl! You're right, you _are_ sane!" Shock grinned.

"Hey! I'm sane too!" Sam protested but Axl grinned.

"Sane people stick together, Shock." She said while taking refuge in the kitchen.

"You're not sane." Bakura muttered and Sam glared at him.

"Hey, do you _want_me to drop a piano on you in the next chapter? Or make Zorc eat you?"

Suddenly Axl let out a shriek and Malik grinned as he carried the squirming girl out of the kitchen. "You might want to stay and watch this. Hey, Yami! $30 says that Sam wins this round!"

"$100 on Bakura!" Shock called out. "Bakura's an ancient Egyptian Thief King and Sam's just a human girl!"

"I'm writing you into my story, do you wanna die?" Sam growled, her eyes shooting daggers.

"You're on!" Malik agreed with Shock as Sam turned to face Bakura.

"MARIK BURNT MY MANGA!" Shock shrieked and Axl growled as they chased the laughing boys around Sam's living room.

"Sam!" Marik yelled before hiding behind said girl. "Write them away!"

"I can't, Marik. They're real." Sam grinned as the girls advanced on her.

Axl swung her giant hammer of Doom that she'd hidden in Sam's apartment somewhere.

"Move Sam, we're having Egyptian soup tonight."

"Axl, this is a PG story. NOT an 18+!"

Shock suddenly let out an evil laugh and raced for the kitchen. "I'll get the pot!"

"No!" Sam yelled as Axl managed to grab the scared teen.

"Don't forget the salt!" Axl shouted as she dragged the squirming boy toward the kitchen, swinging her hammer at anyone that tried to get close.

"18+?" Shock suddenly quipped up from inside the kitchen. "But you put Yami and I under your bed last night!"

"You what?"! Axl screeched, almost dropping Marik in her surprise. "Sam!"

"Bakura, sic'em!" Sam yelled, pointing after the departing Axl. "And no I did not! You put yourself there, Shock! He was already hiding under there from my mum; you just took advantage of the moment!"

"Shock! You rapist!" Axl squealed as Bakura freed Marik. Bakura growled as he chased after the now-fleeing girl.

"Gotcha!" He grabbed Axl by the back of her jacket and carried the protesting girl back into the living room.

"What goes with Egyptian Soup?" Shock muttered to herself. "I'm gonna need recipes..."

"PERVERT! RAPIST! HELP!"

"How about 'Shock Soufflé'? Bakura, let her go." Sam sighed as she passed them on her way to the kitchen.

"Ok, I'll start making that! Axl, get Marik!" Shock yelled out, not realizing her mistake in the menu.

"I ain't a rapist or a pervert, but I'll be a murderer in a minute cause you're really starting to tick me off." Bakura growled in Axl's ear. Axl preformed a ninja move that would've made Seto green with envy and promptly vanished.

"Did someone mention me?" Seto asked, poking his head into the living room. "Yugi, prepare to meet your mak - Ooh, chocolate!"

"Chocolate? Really? Seto, you're meant to love black coffee with no sugar!" Axl yelped, her dreams shattering. She stuck her head inside the room again and shouted: "Cops on the front lawn!"

"Hey! That's _my_ Christmas present!" Sam growled as she grabbed the chocolate away from the hungry CEO. "Leave it alone!"

"Guys! COPS!" Axl shouted, her panic beginning to show. She hopped from one foot to the other, looking desperately at her friends and fellow duelists.

"Crap! Guys, you gotta - damn boys, how do they do that?" Sam marveled when she saw that all the teens had vanished.

"I WILL DESTROY YO - lollies!" Seto pounced on the packet of licorice as the cops broke the door down.

"HEY!" Sam protested as she was grabbed. "I own this place, ya know!"

"Egyptian Soup, Seto, and now the cops? What next?" Shock asked, still hiding. Under Sam's bed again, the departing authoress noted.

"Get them!" Axl cried and Shock blinked.

"Get who?"

"Help!" Sam yelled as she was dragged down the stairs by the police. "I'm being Sam-napped!"

"Thank heavens."

"Get the cops, pigs, whatever you want to call them!" Axl said as she grabbed Sam's arm and began a tug-of-war.

"Hey!" Bakura growled as he grabbed Shock. "Help your friend!"

"Ow ow ow." Sam complained as she was pulled from different directions. "That HURTS!"

"What do you want me to do, Fluffy?"

"Fat cow!"

Axl pointed down the street and shouted, "Free doughnuts!"

"Hehe, Shock's fat." Malik smirked before Yami smacked him upside the head. "Ow!" The cops all tore down the street, unfortunately taking Sam with them.

"Dammit." Axl muttered.

"Where?" Shock ran down the street after the cops, searching for the doughnuts.

"Guys!"

"Where's Seto?" Axl asked suddenly. "He better leave _my_ lollies alone…"

Seto laughed evilly _[[A/N: Of course he wouldn't really, but he's high on sugar...see my 'Do's and Don't' list for more info (SOON TO BE UPLOADED)]]_ as he stopped before the cops. "The lollies are mine! Ooh, free doughnuts~!"

"What, the cops still have Sam with them? Bakura will go green with envy soon; you wanna see a green kitty?"

"Great, I'm gonna be glomped to death by a sugar-crazy Seto. I should've stayed in bed today." Sam muttered before she was taken away by a random ninja swarm. "Gack! GUYS! STOP FIGHTING AND HELP ME!"

"Stop calling me that!" Bakura yelled before tackling Shock. "If I am, then you're a whore!"

"And now she's with Seto? You two-timing bitch!" Shock laughed. Axl jumped forward and grabbed Sam, all while running from the random Foot Ninja swarm. "HHEELLPP!"

"BAKURA! SHE'S NOT!" Yami yelled as he tried to pull him off Shock. "Shock, play nice! This was meant to be a PG story, and you're making it 18+!"

Marik and Yami grabbed Axl and tried to pull Sam away from the ninja. "Guys, we need a little help here!"

"He's the one calling me a whore!" Shock yelled to Yami.

"You're **ALL **FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD!" Axl yelled.

"MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOT A TWO-TIMING BITCH!" Bakura yelled as he tried to punch Shock again. "Aww crap…I never called her that!"

"I'm his WHAT?" Sam shrieked as she was tugged by various people. "Since when?"

"Bakura and Sam, sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Axl sung.

"No, you're the bitch, Bakura! You're the dog!" Shock laughed…then ran.

"Are not!" Bakura abandoned his attack on Shock and chased after the singing Axl instead. "I never said she was mine, you got that? I'm with Shadow!"

Axl ran like the wind.

"Axl! STOP ANTAGONIZING BAKURA!" Sam yelled as the ninja ran away with her again. "Throw them some food or something! Maybe they'll have the same reaction as Seto!"

"Not my sugar!" Shouted Axl.

"All I got is pizza! Will that work?" Shock yelled back.

Malik and Yami left, glad that this was a fanfiction and not real life...until Sam got the chance to write it, that is...

"Maybe!" Sam called back before disappearing into the ninja's HQ. "Aww crud..."

"BOTH!" Bakura yelled as he grabbed Marik's pizza.

"Yes, I found sugar!" Shock cheered.

Bakura ran into ninja's HQ and came out minutes later with Sam. Said girl looked at the others. "I can't believe that worked!" Sam was slightly in shock at the fact that all it took was a pizza to free her, but she wasn't complaining about being saved by Bakura..

"...So fast..." Shock stared at Bakura.

"Ooh, a threesome…" Axl smirked.

Shock snapped out of it rather fast. "WHA? is not!" She yelled, shaking Axl's Giant Hammer Of Doom (until that moment forgotten) at it's owner.

"It better not be..." Sam growled. "Shock's already pregnant with Yami's kid, she doesn't need Bakura's too."

"WHAT?"

"WHAT!"

Sam grinned as both her friend's mouths dropped open. "I wrote it weeks ago!"

"You realize you have to marry Yami now because its the honorable thing to do, right Shock?" Axl asked.

"Yeah." Bakura growled. "Or your kid will grow up motherless, I'll make sure of that." He threatened.

"I seriously hope that you won't go through with that threat." Sam warned Bakura. "Or I'll make sure that _YOU_ go to Fanficgypsy or Bakurastopfangirl again." She grinned evilly.

"I get to name the kid if it becomes an orphan!" Axl yelled.

"Are you ok, Shock?" Sam asked as they walked away from the ninja's HQ, which suddenly spontaneously combusted.

"...I think so...?"

"I touched nothing!" Bakura shouted.

"...Umm..." Shock's face clearly showed that her thoughts weren't in the gutter…they were in the septic tank.

"Shock! Nothing like that!" Sam screeched.

"Nah, Marik put a chemical or something on the pizza again." Axl calmly stated.

"I meant the exploding building…whore." Bakura insulted Shock, smirking.

"NOT MY FAULT! You made me think that... how did you know what I was thinking?" Shock yelled back.

"It was all over your face." Sam muttered.

"I'm gonna need a shower after this fanfic..." Shock muttered under her breath

"Yeah." Sam agreed. "I'm just glad it's not real or you might have miscarried by now from all this stress." She muttered.

"Ew!"

"I think I'm gonna faint..." Said a woozy Axl.

"That's why I'm glad!" Sam growled. "Hey, why is Bakura still carrying me? PUT ME DOWN!"

"Ummm... so where are we now?" Shock asked randomly.

"Almost back at my place." Sam explained as she jumped away from Bakura. "Ok guys, shoo. My flat is totally wrecked, and unless you wanna help clean it up, leave."

The guys were immediately gone and Sam pouted. "Well damn…Shock, Axl, I didn't mean you as well!"

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**Well, I warned you. Craziness happened ^^; Not really an ending, but my ideas ran away from me at that point…ah well.**

**Shock, relax, you're not having Yami's kid. Heaven help us all if you really were… O.o **


End file.
